Before you apologize to your ex boyfriend, you need to find out the real reason to the question “Why my boyfriend dumped me?”
After half a dozen dates, you thought maybe you found the perfect guy. Only, suddenly, he stopped calling you. Perhaps you had been going out together for a much longer time, and yet, out of the blue, he dumped you.
Then again, maybe in either case, it wasn’t so sudden.
There might have been signs, but you weren’t reading them.
Guys aren’t always eloquent speakers when it comes to breaking up, and many will simply just stop calling, or find excuses to avoid seeing you, hoping you’ll get the hint.
If confronted directly, you might get a mumbled excuse such as, “I have to start working more hours,” or perhaps you’ll be lucky and get the “real reason” for the breakup.
It’s important to know why your boyfriend dumped you, not because it will heal a broken heart, or somehow magically “fix” a broken relationship.
If there’s a pattern in your life of being dumped by men, some insight in to the male psyche may help you see if there is a need to make some changes if you want a successful long term relationship.
Some of the reasons men dump women may seem frivolous, or trite, and in those cases you can take comfort in knowing that “he” is the one with the problem, not you.
While it may seem that some of these issues shouldn’t matter in a relationship, apparently, for some men, they do.
So, for women who wonder “Why my boyfriend dumped me?” here is a list of top 10 common reasons often given by men for ending a relationship.
1. I’m feeling Smothered!
This can happen for one of two reasons.
- You have become insanely jealous and controlling and you are constantly calling, texting, and emailing to see where he is and what he’s doing or
- Your boyfriend has issues with being too close to a woman.
In the first case, all the attention may make a guy feel special. She cooks his favorite meals, the sex is fantastic, and his ego is pumped. After a while, though, he realizes he can’t make a move without her knowledge or worse, her approval. Most men will dump a woman before the relationship reaches nightmarish levels.
For the second case, this guy won’t make it in any relationship, except perhaps one where the girl is based in Alaska, and he’s in New York, and they see each other three days out of the year. Some guys just back off from getting too close to anyone, and unless a woman wants to play therapist and work a man through this, it’s often better to move on to someone willing to develop a close relationship.
2. She’s too Fat!
As much as this may hurt to hear, this is not an uncommon reason for being dumped by a guy.
That cute little size four who could whirl around on the club floor with ease has suddenly blossomed into a not so stunning size twelve.
Sometimes men feel that once in a relationship, the female counterpart relaxes and stops caring about her weight.
This happens during marriage at times; once she’s got her man, she lets herself go.
While this may seem to be one of those trite reasons, just remember if he brags about your figure to his pals, he won’t appreciate seeing you with an additional twenty or thirty pounds.
Some recent surveys have shown that nearly half of all men say they would dump their girlfriends if they gained too much weight.
3. She’s too Needy!
Even the most competent women may find themselves depending on their guys for everything.
While you may feel you are boosting his male ego, he may feel there’s something wrong with you if you can’t deal with any problem without him.
If you could assemble a bookcase by yourself before you met him, you can do the same while you’re dating him.
4. She talks Too Much!
For some men, there’s nothing worse than sharing their deepest, most sacred secrets with a woman, only to discover she relayed them to her best friend the next day.
Or even worse – her mother, or his mother.
Most men will quickly dump gossip girls.
5. She’s not too Bright!
Believe it or not, there are plenty of men who enjoy debating issues ranging from the environment to vitamin use.
It’s one thing to ask, occasionally, for help with the Sunday paper crossword puzzle. It’s quite another not to know who the candidates are in the current election.
Don’t play dumb, either.
On the other hand – this brings us to the next reason for being dumped by a man.
6. She’s too Smart!
There are times when the female biochemist marrying the male janitor is a true to life fairy tale.
Other times, though, most men don’t like appearing to know nothing next to their “know it all” girlfriends.
If you are pursuing your Ph.D. in languages and literature, check out the guys in the history department, rather than the cute studs flipping pizza crust at the nearest carry-out.
7. She’s Fake!
False eyelashes, red hair dye, and a ton of make-up may look great in the club, or in front of the camera.
But men also appreciate someone who can just “hang out” and be natural from time to time.
Besides, the true test of a relationship is if he – or she – can accept the “real” you.
8. There’s no Chemistry!
This is something that can’t be faked.
Sometimes you just have to face it – there is no chemistry.
Even if you are feeling it, if he isn’t, it won’t work.
Sometimes there’s no chemistry in the sex department. You might get along fine on a friendship level, but if that spark isn’t there in the sex department, for many men, it means dumping a girlfriend.
9. Nag, Nag, Nag. All She does is Nag!
He’s not looking for another mother.
Nagging is a privilege reserved for parenthood.
If you have an issue with something, talk to him about it, one adult to another.
Most guys, if nagged too much, just dump the nagger.
10. I found Someone Else
This is the most unfortunate reason of all for being dumped.
Another girl caught his eye, and he made his move.
You could try to fight this one, but ask yourself if you really want someone who is so willing to dump you for the next pretty face.
This covers some of the most common reasons of why you might have got dumped. To fully understand the real reasons of why a guy dumps his girlfriend and how to get him back, you can read The Magic of Making Up book or the 2nd Chance book.